Super Bowl XLII is upon us, and it’s time for some predictions:-- The Fox pre-game show will last a record 63 hours, leaving studio Terry Bradshaw sputtering like Dan Rather during coverage of the 2000 presidential election.
-- Bill Belichick will swipe his NFL-required game sponsored clothing with some homeless guy he meets in downtown Phoenix. The homeless guy is last seen hitching to Vegas wearing an ad for Reebok.
-- Tom Coughlin will attempt to crack an Elvis-type smile, and wind up on the Giants’ injured list.
-- During the national anthem, Fox will show the first of its 964 shots of Tom Brady’s girlfriend, model Giselle Bundchen.
-- The first of 23 replays of Peyton Manning winning last year’s Super Bowl will be shown, causing every Bears fan in Chicago to angrily swear under their breath at Rex Grossman.
-- The 1972 Miami Dolphins are spotted in the north end zone, rapidly stabbing the right shoulder of voodoo dolls of Brady.
-- Patriots defensive back Rodney Harrison gets the first of his three game misconduct after slapping Giants QB Eli Manning who kept asking him about performance-enhancing drugs.
-- Manning’s father and former Saints QB Archie Manning, especially after he storms the field to defend his son from Harrison. Harrison retaliates by wearing a paper bag on his head.
-- Oh yeah, and the game. The Patriots will narrowly achieve their perfect season, winning the game 20-19 after Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes invokes memories of Scott Norwood and misses a game winning 46-yard field goal that sails wide right.
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